Smiling
by x.Myownway.x
Summary: The morning after they went ice skating and Kurt has a reason to smile. Oneshot.


Smiling

Kurt's body is tired, there's not a part of him that doesn't hurt, his feet are bruised he's sure of it, and he'd bet money that his ass is in the same state. Falling on ice hurts. But he's smiling. He has this grin in his face that would make the cat with the cream jealous. Kurt feels bad for smiling, he feels bad for this giddy feeling that's running up and down his body, making butterflies take flight in his stomach. He shouldn't be smiling, his dad had cancer. It was so much more ugly than a heart attack. A heart attack was sudden, unexpected. Cancer was there. Always there. Kurt shook his head. He had to believe his dad would be okay. He couldn't lose him. Wouldn't lose him. The body beside him moved and it made Kurt smile again. Curly hair a mess on the sofa, a cold foot pressed against his ankle making Kurt shiver. Kurt had forgotten how much the shorter boy fidgeted in his sleep. He was smiling too. Blaine's smiles could melt the coldest of hearts. "Kurt?"

"Yeah?" Kurt whispered back, he was scared Blaine would ruin the moment. Scared he would apologise again. Scared he would make Kurt remember why he hadn't been smiling.

"My feet are cold. You still hog the covers." Blaine opened one eye and Kurt grinned.

"We don't have a cover. We fell asleep on the sofa." Kurt said softly, that was when he realised that this had been on his list. He wanted to fall asleep in the arms of someone he loved on the sofa watching tv. Blaine's arms were around him, they were on the sofa, and he did love Blaine. Always would.

"Oh." Blaine pouted, as if realizing why he was so cold. "Are you scratching this off your list?" Blaine asked and Kurt just stared at him. Of course Blaine would know what he was thinking about, it was Blaine!

"Yes." Kurt smiled softy, he found Blaine's hand that was resting so comfortably on his hip and held it in his hand, their fingers dancing together. "I'm not ready for... For us to be us again Blaine, I forgive you and I love you." Kurt had to look at Blaine, even though the sad lost look in Blaine's eyes broke him in two. "I love you." Kurt said again. "Will always love you. But I'm... I don't think I can do the long distance thing. It hurts too much. And I know how much it hurt you, and I'm going to be just as busy and maybe more so. And I don't want to push you away."

"Then don't. Please." Blaine begged.

"I'm not. I want us to be friends. Best friends. Then when you come here next year... We can see what's left."

"What if you find someone?" Blaine whispered, his eyes watering.

"What if you find someone?" Kurt thought of Eli and Sebastian and his heart ached. Blaine would find someone. He knew he would.

"It's only you Kurt." Blaine breathed, tears falling down his cheeks. "Please Kurt. Let's just try this. We were kids when you left. We're not kids anymore."

"We're not?" Kurt smiled softly.

"No. I don't want to go back to Lima without you as my boyfriend."

"Blaine... It will hurt..."

"We can handle it. We will have skype dates. I'll visit more. You'll visit more. We can do this!" Blaine pleaded. Kurt could hear the desperation in Blaine's voice, he hated how sad he sounded.

Kurt closed his eyes. He wanted it so bad. He needed it. Needed Blaine. He knew how much it hurt to miss him. He wouldn't push him away again. "Okay." Kurt whispered.

"You.." Blaine was grinning, he looked so perfect. Except his eyes were watering.

"Yes." Kurt said. "We can do this."

Blaine leaned forward and pressed his lips against Kurt's in a lovingly tender kiss. "This is another thing to cross off your list..." Blaine breathed.

"Huh?" Kurt frowned. His lips buzzing from the kiss.

"Kissing your boyfriend on Christmas Day." Blaine smiled, gently stroking a finger down the side of Kurt's cheek.

"It is." Kurt smiled leaning in for a chaste kiss, resting his lips against Blaines in a soft smile.

Kurt wasn't naive, once upon a time he was but not anymore. He knew now just how hard this was going to be with Blaine but he knew it would be okay, they would be okay. Blaine wrapped his arms tighter around him and rubbed his arms softly and Kurt snuggled in closer to him, doing what he knew he would be doing for as long as Blaine was with him - smiling.


End file.
